The Car That Proves Germans Can Do Quirky

Meet the 2025 Mini Aceman EV – an electric oddball that’s as British as a BMW-owned, Chinese-built, Leipzig-assembled car can be. It’s here to save polar bears, provided you never venture beyond Sandton’s radius. Let’s dissect this overpriced beauty.

1. Battery Specs: Mini’s Magic (or Maths?)

Mini’s website claims two variants for SA:

• Aceman E: 135kW, 305km range
• Aceman SE: 160kW, 410km range

Real-World Translation:

• Joburg to Durban: Still 1.5 charges (now with 2% more existential dread)
• Cape Town to Franschhoek: 83km round trip (arrive home smug)

2. Design: A Hedgehog in a Wind Tunnel

The Aceman looks like a Mini Cooper SE but with a slick brushback hairstyle:

• “Pixel” LED lights: Glow like a Durban nightclub’s VIP section
• 19” wheels: To keep up with the growing ratio for wheel to pothole size
• Recycled interior: Really expensive way to save the planet

Cabin Notes

• Circular OLED screen (a bit distracting but pretty)
• “Experiential” ambient lighting (8 colours to match load-shedding stages)
• Boot space: 300L (fits 1 golf bag or 3 crates of Castle Lite)

3. Driving Dynamics: Go-Kart Meets PowerPoint Presentation

I “drove” the Aceman SE in my mind (Mini still won’t lend me one):

• 0-100km/h: 7.1s (E) / 6.7s (SE) – quicker than a Gupta lawyer
• Handling: Corners like it’s late for Padel
• Regen braking: Feels like driving through a vat of Mrs Ball’s chutney

4. Pricing: Luxury Tax for the Kohlrabi Crowd

Translation: For R800k, you could buy:

• 1x Toyota Corolla Cross Hybrid + solar panels
• 124,000 koeksisters (diabetes included)
• A lifetime of Uber rides (with AC)

5. The Verdict: Cute, But Pricey

The Good:

• Zippier than a Golf 8 GTI (until 50% battery)
• Makes Tesla owners look mainstream
• 5-star Euro NCAP (for surviving school runs)

The Bad:

• Rear seats: Legroom for kids only
• “Sustainable” materials = sweaty back in December
• Range: Enough to reach… another charging station

The Ugly:
The SE costs +R900k. That’s R120k more than a base Volvo EX30.

Who’s It For?

• Trust fund millennials with charging anxiety
• Joburgers who think Kyalami is “the countryside”
• People who call traffic jams “urban mindfulness sessions”

Who’s It Not For?

• Anyone who’s uttered “let’s drive to Namibia”
• Humans taller than 1.6m (it’s mini, duh)
• South Africans without solar (unless you enjoy Eskom roulette)